Johnny blinks and meets his eyes again, startled into it by the unexpected benevolence of the offer. It's tantalizing, the idea that he could protect himself, wouldn't need others (so many others, too many) to look after him all the time, to put themselves in danger and poison their lives with his madness. It's a seductive offer, and a terrifying one, implying so much. He's not so naive as to think it wouldn't alter him, deconstruct and reshape him every bit as much as the book did. And Lude was right, of course, that he couldn't quite turn away. There is always a part of him that can't turn away - or that looks when he shouldn't, which is in some ways the very same thing.

"How?" he murmurs almost without thinking it, like the word formed itself and left him without his consent.