"Am I not - no!" he squawks, offended by the very notion. Him, a smelly human? With this facial arrangement? Two eyes is just inconsiderate, that's what it is! "Do I look like - well, um." He looks down at himself, deflating, voice shrinking audibly. "I suppose I do, actually. Hm. Right, then."

He's not actually one-hundred percent sure if he should try standing and walking, so he just keeps sitting on top of the remnants of his misfortune, leaning on the statue's powdery white stump in as painfully nonchalant a manner as he can manage, which is to say, not a very nonchalant manner at all.

"Sneezing," Wheatley scoffs. "That's what I would call, ummmm, unpleasant. Very much unpleasant. Don't think I'll like that all, no."