applesaucedream | [closed] When all turns out to be unjust, then I'll turn back and help you out

Seth is in and out again in mercifully quick time, and it's not long before Daniel is silently praising the very concept of elevators. Despite working on a military base that had been full of them, he doesn't think he's ever expressed proper appreciation for elevators until this moment.

And also chairs.

Daniel has a great deal of situational fondness for whoever came up with those, he decides as they enter the (albeit cramped) room. He sinks into the first chair he can find and leans back, breathing out the ache and trying not to think about how it feels like his palm is welded to his shoulder. Because, ow.

Hissing a little between his teeth, he removes Seth's hoodie and deposits it on the bed with a mumble of apology, then slowly peels off his jacket and shrugs it off with his good shoulder. The shirt's going to be more of a problem but Daniel knows well enough what he's supposed to do next, what he ideally should have done immediately after getting shot, which is check for any other external wounds, entry or exit points he might have missed.

This'll be fun.

Seth makes sure Daniel is nicely seated before he lets himself focus on other things. He immediately goes into the bathroom and washes his hands in warm water, heating them up again after all that walking outside. He still feels chilled, but he'll warm up eventually. He's still shaking a little, but he doesn't know how related that actually is to the cold.

He splashes some water in his face as well too, which feels kind of lovely, and then just stands there for a moment, taking several deep breaths. It still hasn't really hit him that he's out. It probably won't for a while.

When he comes back out, Daniel has taken his jacket is about to start on the shirt. "Here, let me.." he says quietly, trying not to wince at how much blood there is, kneeling next to Daniel's chair, picking open the buttons with trembling fingers, helping get it off him.

He can hear the hiss of running water but it's not long before it stops. He doesn't hear Seth's approach, too preoccupied with fumbling with the uncooperative buttons, but he pauses for a minute when the other man starts unexpectedly helping him.

"Thanks," Daniel mutters shakily, because trying to unbutton the thing with one good arm hasn't been doing his injury any favors. Their combined efforts get the shirt off with what Daniel imagines is a minimal amount of pain, though it certainly doesn't feel like it. He has to get a little creative in maneuvering the sleeve off his left arm without giving into the sensation akin to actively tearing it off at the joint, but they manage it.

"You're shaking," he comments quietly in an effort to take his mind off it. "You gonna be okay?"

Daniel doesn't look up as he says it, just keeps his voice calm and even while he inspects the area surrounding the injury and, just to be safe, the entire arm and pectoral region as well. Aside from the bullet hole he already knows about and an alarming amount of red streaking his skin, there doesn't look to be any external damage. Thank god.

Seth drops the bloodied shirt on the floor, and then puts the not quite as bloodied hoodie there too, so it won't stain the bed. A strange thing to worry about, he notes, given all the other things he's worried about.

"Yeah..." he answers just as quietly, watching Daniel inspect his injury. He feels a little sick, and ready to pass out, but he knows he won't get any sleep for a while. "I mean, I'm not yet," he adds. "But I'm gonna be. Thanks to you." He glances up and smiles wearily.

Then he gets to his feet again - it's getting harder and harder to do that, without the adrenaline and urgency, his legs are starting to feel like jello - and goes to the bathroom again. There's no cloths, but there's a couple of towels, so Seth grabs one and wets it in the sink, then returns to Daniel and starts cleaning away the blood. He doesn't go to near the actual wound though, worried his shaking hands will accidentally hurt Daniel.

He starts tentatively exploring his back and shoulder blade with one hand and is relieved to find no exit wounds. The bullet's still lodged in there, probably preventing a potentially fatal bleed-out, which Daniel is currently just fine with. The arm still doesn't feel safe to move around independently so he makes no attempt to. There's almost certainly nerve damage.

Seth returns with some towels and tries cleaning the blood off but his hands are shaking so hard that Daniel gently takes over.

"I got it," he assures him quietly. "It's honestly not so bad. Just...please, just sit down or something. Give yourself a minute."

He still looks too pale and on edge. Daniel's more than a little worried he'll overtax himself out of concern because that's exactly the sort of thing he'd do, but Daniel's deliberately keeping himself calm over the whole "getting shot" thing which, mercifully, doesn't take as much effort as one would think. He supposes his repeated deaths degree has something to do with it, but he's not going to examine his own psyche right now.

And Seth, well. Seth's just gotten out of months of captivity where he wasn't exactly treated well, had some awful foreign power forced in and then out of him, and has probably done more physical exertion in these past few hours alone than he's had to in weeks. In short, Daniel's glad the rifty clinic has a doctor on the way, because Seth is probably going to need one too.

Seth lets him take over, and slides down from his kneeling position to sit on the floor, leaned against the bed. He can't stop fidgeting and wringing his hands, which still feel numb, despite not being cold anymore. He's not sure why. He tells himself it's because he's worried about Daniel, but he's starting to think he might feel this way even if Daniel had been seen to by now and declared he'd heal fine.

He takes a slow, steadying breath, tries to get his heart to stop thumping, but it doesn't seem to want to. At the moment he can't bring himself to look at Daniel, looking as bloodied and tired and injured as he is right now. With the same kind of wound he inflicted on several people just a while ago, only they weren't as lucky as him. He stares at the floor instead. Quiet. Giving himself a minute.

"I'm sorry," he says after a while, barely audible. His entire body kind of hurts.

Daniel decides to take a breather after getting most of the blood off and just sits there for a minute, exchanging his hand for another towel to keep the pressure on. He doesn't remember how long he's supposed to keep doing that, but he supposes it can't hurt. Or, rather, it can. Which it does. Still.

But Seth is also being worryingly quiet. He might be sitting down now, but his hands are restless and he still looks shaky and dead on his feet.

Daniel raises his eyebrows in mild alarm at the quiet apology.

"What for?" he asks, voice low. "I'd say we're about two to one on the 'saving each others' lives' ratio, your favor."

He drops the levity pretty much immediately. That's not what Seth needs right now. Daniel wishes he could walk over and sit next to him but standing or moving around in general wouldn't be the wisest courses of action right now. So he sits in the chair that is probably of poor construction if the way its legs creak is any indication but is still the most comfortable surface he's been on all day, and looks at Seth and keeps talking to him because he looks a bit frayed and disconnected from reality right now, and Daniel needs to bring him back.

"You're gonna be okay." He says it evenly, non-assertive, like it's just some obvious, immutable fact of the universe. "You're all right now. You're safe."

Seth doesn't answer either statement, not right away. He knows rationally that he's a lot safer than he's been in a long time, or at least a lot freer, but it's impossible for him to be happy or relieved about that for the moment.

"You would've never needed saving if it weren't for me," he answers, feeling guilty, the muted distress in his voice in stark contrast to Daniel's calmness.

Again, rationally he knows this is bullshit, that Daniel must've been perfectly aware of the risks, that he made a choice, and that Seth hadn't had the luxury to choose much of anything. But it doesn't feel like that. If feels like it's directly and uniquely his fault that Daniel's currently in pain.

"If it weren't for you, what?" Daniel asks gently. "If it weren't for you...following orders and taking the power because I told you to lay low? If it weren't for you being put in a situation completely beyond your control? For getting caught in the first place?"

He frowns at Seth with that incisive, fiercely sympathetic squint but his expression soon softens.

"Seth, none of that was your fault. And it worked, and you're out now, so either way it's worth it."

Daniel finds the idea that Seth can somehow wrangle out a way to blame himself for this to be genuinely distressing. It seems practiced, automatic, an instinct he doesn't know how to suppress. And damnit, Daniel doesn't care if he's bleeding out of a bullet wound to his shoulder, he's going to try to change that.

"We were practically shooting our way out of there by the end. Something like this was bound to happen." He inclines his head at the injury, less piercing now that he's not jostling it around anymore.

Seth doesn't answer, doesn't do much to acknowledge what's being said at all, but he hears it all and tries to absorb it, tries to believe it. Despite not answering though, he does at relax marginally. It's... good to hear it. Being stated so plainly and honestly.

And while he knows Daniel has more experience with that kind of thing that Seth does, Daniel being shot at doesn't seem like it should be something 'bound to happen'. But Seth being out also means Daniel is out. And Seth to agree - that means it's worth it, right?

Seth doesn't say anything and Daniel can only guess what's occupying his mind. Guilt, maybe. However ridiculous it might sound.

"It'll be okay." He repeats the words with absolute conviction. "You're gonna have to trust me on that."

There's really no rational basis for him to say so, but Daniel thinks Seth just needs to hear it. Reassurance that things will eventually get to the realm of Somewhat Okay. He doesn't expect it to happen immediately; right now things are too fresh and lingering and there's no way that the trauma of months in captivity will simply evaporate.

"And I'll help you," Daniel adds, "you know, once we've...figured this out." By which he means the bleeding and the gunshot wound.

Seth doesn't look up until Daniel says he'll help him. Well, for all he knows, Daniel could've just been meaning to get Seth out and away. Rescue operation but not rehabilitation and recovery. And what would Seth even do? He doesn't feel like he's much of a state to support himself. So the reassurance that Daniel isn't going to just evaporate into thin air is... very important for him to hear.

He manages a tired smile in return. Thankfully he's saved from having to think up a reply - he doesn't know how to use words at the moment - by a knock on the door. He jumps to his feet, exhaustion suddenly forgotten, and slowly opens the door a fraction.

"Hello. I'm Alicia Cassady, I'm from the clinic," the woman outside says, with a gentle smile. Seth breathes a small sigh of relief, nods, and opens the door all the way, letting her in. He still doesn't feel very comfortable with talking, so he's just going to step back and sit on the bed and let her deal with Daniel.

She steps inside, closing the door behind her, and makes a sympathetic face when she sees Daniel's injury. "Hi, I'm Alicia," she introduces herself to Daniel as well, not wasting any time, setting down her bag and taking off her coat and going to check on him. "How are you holding up?"

The knock on the door interrupts their one-sided dialogue, but Daniel doesn't mind when he learns it's the doctor from the clinic. Oh, thank god.

"Hey," he says, pseudo-cheerfully, "Daniel. I'd shake your hand but, you know."

The humor isn't really helping take his mind off it, so Daniel drops it and goes right ahead to rattling off what he knows:

"Got lucky, I think. Doesn't feel like the bullet hit the joint or the subclavian but I'm mostly basing that off the fact that I'm not dead. Been keeping on the pressure, so no passing out yet." He smiles weakly. "Not the first time I've been shot."

Alicia nods thoughtfully, pulling back her sleeves and kneeling next to Daniel. She removes Daniel's hand so she can take a better look.

"Alright. I'm going to see how bad it is. I'm sorry if it's uncomfortable," she says, then places carefully her hands on Daniel's shoulder, one right over the wound, and the other on the back of his shoulder. Then she closes her eyes for a few moments. The pain should be dulled a little, replaced by a tingling sensation.

After about ten seconds, she opens her eyes again. "You're right, you did get lucky, although there is a little bit of nerve damage. Hopefully I'll be able to fix that, though. First we need to get the bullet out, though. Now, this will probably hurt a little, but I'll try to dull the pain as best I can. Just try to relax."

She checks that Daniel is ready, and then she closes her eyes again. It takes longer this time, and she numbs him as best she can, so hopefully it won't be worse than what he's already had to deal with for a while. Slowly, the bullet makes its way back out, along with fibers and anything else that shouldn't be in there. She carefully makes the blood clot behind it, sealing up the wound as best she can so it will stop bleeding.

By the end of it, only about half a minute later, there are beads of sweat on her forehead and a look of deep concentration, and then she smiles triumphantly and pulls back her hand to show Daniel the successfully removed bullet.

"Okay," he answers warily, drawing out the word. He's not sure how putting a bare hand on the injury is supposed to help until he starts to feel the localized shift in the area and wow, that is an odd sensation. Perhaps it's because he's fully conscious and aware to experience it, and of course they'd have someone with a healing power working for them, so Daniel closes his eyes and keeps himself calm and as a coping tactic it's been going fairly well so far until he has to bite back a startled yelp when she starts taking the bullet out. Ordinarily Daniel would simply leave it there, the damage done and the possibility of removal risking a total bleed-out, but he supposes one with a healing power would have better control over this sort of thing.

So Daniel forces himself to hold still and trust Alicia and the Hippocratic Oath or whatever they have as an equivalent here, if applicable, and sure enough, the wound actually closes behind the bullet, internal and external. He breathes out noisily once it's over and offers Alicia a shaky smile.

"Thank you," he tells her sincerely, unconsciously flexing the fingers on his formerly nerve-damaged hand. "Ah. That's different. But really honestly - thank you."

The area feels sore, as to be expected, but the pain is significantly less.

Seth just watches quietly and worriedly from the bed, wincing a little when Daniel yelps, and he can't help but gape a little when he realises she actually removed the bullet. Well then, at least she knows what she's doing, and now that he sees Daniel move his hand, relief is actually starting to hit him, slowly but surely.

She smiles warmly at Daniel's thank you, and puts the bullet away, inspecting the wound. "Alright, it's closed up, but it's not healed yet, alright? That's gonna take time, and it will probably leave a scar, but otherwise you should make a full recovery."

Alicia opens up her bag and pulls out some bandages, painkillers, and everything he'll need, and starts to clean the wound properly, so she can put a bandage on. "You should be able to use your arm now as long as you're careful. No heavy lifting or anything like that. Keep an eye out for infection, and see a doctor if anything seems wrong," she instructs.

He nods at her instructions, which make sense considering he was recently shot but it won't be as big a pain than if he'd left the bullet in. A full recovery is far beyond what Daniel had optimistically hoped was possible.

"Thank you," he repeats. "I'll keep that all in mind." The instructions ultimately boil down to "don't do anything stupid" - directions Daniel has a fundamental problem with following most of the time - but he promises himself he'll at least try.

He shoots a glance at Seth, wondering if Alicia would be willing to give him a once-over. Disaster scenarios typically say to take care of the quiet ones first and Seth has barely said much of anything since they got here short of the initial assurance that he'd be fine, followed by his bizarre apology. That's more than a little concerning.

Alicia finishes wrapping up Daniel's wound, and finally gets to her feet again, as she does, so does Seth. He pulls out his wallet (well, Daniel's wallet) and pulls out some money which he silently hands to her. The clinic is free, but they're also funded largely by donations, so.

"Alright. Well, if that's everything..." she says, looking between the two of them, and Seth nods, dropping the wallet onto the nightstand. Feels weird to carry it around.

"Actually, um," Daniel hesitates because he doesn't know how Seth is going to react to this, but forges ahead regardless, "would it be possible to just - check him over, make sure he's okay? Just to be on the safe side."

Spending a couple months in the rebels' hands can't have been very good for him in any case. And Daniel is worried, because Seth is acting too quiet, because one of the first things he said was a completely unwarranted apology, because his hands are shaking and he doesn't look steady on his feet, and Daniel is worried.

Seth blinks in surprise at Daniel. He hadn't called the clinic for his own sake, after all, and... Well, he's not used to be worried over. Not that he hadn't been checked on by doctors at the base, but it had felt a lot more like them doing inventory count or something, and it generally didn't seem to actually lead to better treatment.

"Of course, if it's alright by you," she answers, turning to Seth, who gives a surprised nod. She holds out her hands to him, and he hesitantly takes them. Feels strange to have someone offer him their hands for once. He can't tell if she's doing anything, but then her face grows suddenly sad and sympathetic, and he wonders how much she can actually tell.

"Well, for right now, exhaustion and probably shock, but not really anything I can do much about. You also have some malnutrition, and... Well, it's difficult for me to really make out someone's mental health," she tells them, though she stays focused on Seth, who doesn't quite meet her eyes and feels embarrassed at the pointed implication that there is something wrong with his mental health. (Even if he knows there is.) "But with plenty of rest, healthy eating, and good emotional support, you should feel a lot better," she reassures Seth, who nods awkwardly and pulls his hands back, stuffing them in his pockets.

The diagnosis doesn't tell Daniel much outside of what was already obvious from Seth's shaking and his general inability to sit still, but he appreciates the confirmation regardless.

"Thank you," he says again, tentatively getting to his feet. Pleased he's able to support himself just fine, he moves over to shake her hand gratefully. And also shoot Seth a not-terribly-inconspicuous worried look. He's not going to go treating his friend like he's something fragile or broken - because he isn't, however much he might think otherwise, he wouldn't have gotten them both here had that been the case - but it's clear that everything that's happened has done its psychical damage. A bullet hole in the shoulder is, at least, fixable, reassuringly tangible with clear instructions on how to cleanse, repair, and heal.

But Daniel still doesn't know the complete specifics of what happened to Seth while he was kept in the base, what kind of psychological torture was inflicted on him, what kind of mental state he might be in now or how good he is at hiding it. The only conclusion he can unquestionably come to is that helping Seth through it won't be as simple as patching a bullet to the shoulder.

Meanwhile, at the assurance that Daniel can now easily see the woman out himself, and he is no longer necessary, Seth slips silently away into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

Alicia gives Seth's retreating back a sympathetic look, before focusing back on Daniel. "Well, I'll be off, then. Look after him, will you?" she says with a small smile, then collects her things and takes her leave.

Seth leans over the sink and looks at himself in the mirror. No wonder Daniel keeps looking at him with that worried face, he does look like shit. It's strange, he doesn't quite look like himself. Except he feels like shit, so it makes sense he would look it too. Now he doesn't have anything to focus on, the full extent of it seems to be making a comeback, and he turns suddenly towards the toilet and vomits.

Edited 2014-10-23 00:29 (UTC)

"I will," he assures her as she exits the room. He relaxes a little more as he closes the door behind her. Alicia had come in, done what was needed, and left without asking any questions or raising any taboo subjects. Daniel makes a mental note to thank whoever runs the rifty clinic the next chance he gets, then turns back to the room in much less pain, walking steadily, less on edge than before.

Seth, meanwhile, sounds like he's taken a turn for the worse.

Daniel finds him in the bathroom, divulging the contents of his stomach and, wincing, quickly crouches at his side, one hand on his back. He doesn't think there's much else he can do besides kneel next to Seth and wait for it to pass, though he does search the counter for a towel and finds a (thankfully unbloodied) washcloth for when it does.

Seth winces a little at the touch, not used to anyone touching him unexpectedly for, well, positive reasons, though he quickly relaxes against it again. As much as he can relax at the moment, sitting on the floor and leaned over a toilet bowl while his stomach contracts.

Thankfully it doesn't last terribly long, what with having very few stomach contents to divulge, and this not actually being a reaction to anything digestive, just... well, the shock, he assumes.

"Sorry.." he says, once it seems like he won't be interrupted by stomach acid again. He's shaking more again, though at least now it makes sense why he would be.

Daniel doesn't say anything immediately, simply hands Seth the washcloth. He's shivering rather violently again, which is...really not a good sign. He gives Seth's back a few reassuring rubs but god, he looks awful. And probably still in shock.

It looks like the worst has passed, at least.

"It's okay," he replies, for the life of him completely at a loss as to what Seth could possibly be apologizing for. "You're gonna be fine. We're gonna get you lying down, okay? Think you can walk?"

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject