applesaucedream | Far Side of the Aurora Borealis

Far Side of the Aurora Borealis

Congratulations, dreamers of Manhattan - you get to go to Oxford! It's probably not the Oxford with which any of the dreamers are familiar, though. This one is a bit… different.

The dreamers will find themselves in Jordan College, the oldest and grandest of all the colleges in this version of Oxford, a rambling structure that includes dining halls, libraries, classrooms, chapels, courtyards, a botanical garden, and an extensive network of cellars and tunnels beneath the ground. There are plenty of places to explore!

Sharp-eyed dreamers might notice some subtle architectural quirks. Doors look larger than they'd need to be for solely human use, and every staircase has a little ramp built in - not large enough for a wheelchair, but large enough for, say, a small, scampering animal.

And speaking of - the dreamers are a bit different here, too. Upon arrival, they will realize that they now possess dæmons: physical manifestations of their souls. Be gentle with them; they're undoubtedly confused by being suddenly made manifest. They come with all the side effects and complications inherent with dæmons. They can't travel more than a few yards from their person without it being painful for both parties… and it probably won't take the dreamers long to realize they shouldn't be touching one another's dæmons, what with the shared sensations and all. Still, it's a rare opportunity for the dreamers to chat with their own souls - and the souls of others.

What could possibly go wrong?

[Mod note: you know the drill. All players and characters are welcome, regardless of whether they're current members or not. Characters will remember or forget any and all dream events at players' discretion.]

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Johnny's sincere attempt to make her feel better and his apology bring a small smile to her face, though it turns wistful quickly. "I'm rather more amazing in my own universe," she objects softly, thinking he already got a distressing taste of how badly off she really is here.

But it's kind of him to say, and she strives to give him a reassuring smile. "You don't need to apologize; I understand exactly what it feels like. Certain cosmic anomalies have much the same severe effect on me. It is best simply to avoid them as much as possible." Not that she always has as much choice in the matter as Johnny does here.

"Uh, yeah." Johnny's not very fluent in cosmic anomalies, or at least, so he thinks. "Something would have to be pretty damn crazy to get to you like that, I bet. I'd hate to see what that was like."

Nova tucks her head under her paws, snuggling shyly against the Unicorn's mighty hoof. Johnny feels an inherent nervousness at her overt affection. He's not like this - why is she?

"Don't WANT to have to avoid you," she mumbles, a little sullen sounding. That's more like it.

The Unicorn agrees with Nova's objection and nuzzles her affectionately. "Visit me here," it suggests, "We can show you all sorts of things. All times and places."

The TARDIS feels strangely touched by the display, knowing that the rabbit is voicing Johnny's more or less subconscious thoughts. She's done nothing but hurt and terrify the boy until now, and yet he can see past that and is fond of her in some way. It's quite charming, especially for someone who, as the Unicorn pointed out, has been through a lot of pain besides.

"I hope you will never have to see," she says, concern quickly replaced by grim seriousness at the next thought. "One of them is here in New York. You should not attract his attention under any circumstances. He calls himself Zagreus." She doesn't care to understand what Zagreus is interested in, but Johnny's damaged mind seems a likely target, now that she thinks about it.

Nova and Johnny's joint curiosity about the possibility of exploring the TARDIS is quickly replaced by instant, galling horror at the mention of Zagreus. Nova tenses and looks up, as though fearing the predator may be approaching now; Johnny is almost limp by contrast, his muscles slack with a crawling sense of despair. He feels sick.

"It's too late for that," he says quietly.

Oh, no. Wrath and protectiveness instantly surge through the TARDIS and the Unicorn flicks its ears back in anger and instinctual alarm. It shakes its head harshly in response to Nova's fear, though taking care not to move its massive hooves. If any predator was near, they would get impaled on the long horn before they could even get a look at the rabbit.

"What has he done," the TARDIS asks, voice sharp and cold. This poor boy never deserved what she has accidentally put him through, much less being one of Zagreus' victims. Whatever he's been doing to Johnny, she resolves to put a stop to it.

Johnny is startled, almost frightened, by her sudden vehemence. He is acutely aware that he has stumbled into the midst of a dispute far older than he, between two entities he cannot even begin to understand, and it sickens him all the more, knowing something so powerful is out there, wanting to fuck with him.

"He," Johnny begins, though his throat is dry. He swallows and tries again. "I met him here, in... well, a different dream, but in a dream. He took me..." He breaks eye contact, looking at the floor. Nova scoots over to him, and he bends down to pick her up. "Uh, I don't know where he took me, really. Into his own dream, I guess. And he, uh." Tortured. He licks his lips absently, trying to force himself to say the words, to tell her. Nova nuzzles close against him.

He picks up from a different tack. "I don't know why, he just... decided he wanted to pick on me, I guess, like why not." And then he tortured me. Why can't he say it? "He went in my head and just... tried to mess it up, I guess. More than it already is."

He swallows again. There it is, hard in his throat, the urge to break down, but he won't let that happen, in front of Jodie was bad enough, the first time he saw the TARDIS, he cried then too, and before this it had been years, like twenty fucking years, since he cried, he's not doing it again, not again.

Nova peeks out at the TARDIS. "We saw him again in the real world," she volunteers. She frowns, inasmuch as her rabbit face will allow it. "He's an asshole," she declares.

Without Nova to snuggle, the Unicorn doesn't have any reason to remain on the floor, so it launches itself back on its legs with a great jolt and a full-bodied shake. It's still visibly tense as it stands at the TARDIS' side, ears and tail twitching restlessly.

Johnny's story sounds all too familiar, and she nods grimly. "He has done this to many others before. There is very little reason to his actions," she says in disgust and anger. "You are remarkably intact for having been attacked by him." She can't help thinking of Ianto and the way his mind had been, all disconnected shreds held together by the inevitability of pain and violation, and how long it had taken to mend him. Of course that had been Zagreus' vengeance, but even the ones who were likely mere playthings ended up far more warped and corrupted than Johnny.

"Am I?" Johnny manages a weak smile. "Well maybe I got lucky. Or..."

He hesitates, holding Nova against his face, like a kid with a stuffed animal. She whispers into his ear, "It's okay. She already knows."

He swallows. "Or... maybe it's just that I'm already falling apart, and that I'm used to being broken, and there's just no fucking difference."

He didn't mean for this to come out so bitter, but, oh well.

"There is a difference," she replies perhaps a little too harshly, though her ire isn't directed at him. "But you would not have enough mind left to realize it." Johnny may be unstable and abused, but she saw nothing that would indicate he isn't fundamentally himself anymore. His kindness and his soul's innocuousness are proof of that.

Speaking of which, the sight of him burying his face in the little rabbit finally reminds her that he's radiating distress, and anger isn't what he needs from her right now. Her bearing becomes a little softer, and she rests a hand on his shoulder in a gesture she hopes is somewhat comforting. "I will do what I can to keep you safe, especially here in the telepathic current." With a small, sympathetic smile she adds, "And you are not falling apart. Human minds are very resilient, to a degree that is incredible even to me."

He allows himself to relax a little when she touches him. He meets her eyes. "Thank you," he murmurs.

He has a hard time believing her - he's deterioration personified - but the encouragement is good to hear nonetheless. And she seems like she ought to know. So maybe he can just take her word for it.

"Do you mind if we talk about something else?" he says hesitantly. Zagreus has already seized such control over so much of him, his attention, his life here - he has no desire to devote any more time to him.

Nova peeks up at the TARDIS shyly. "Can we... can we visit the butterflies?" she asks.

The TARDIS doesn't mind a subject change; if they linger on Zagreus she'll only get more frustrated with the fact that she can't protect Johnny effectively at all. So instead she smiles down at the rabbit's somewhat surprising request.

"Well, let's see," she says. "Some shared dream constructs are more resistant to my influence than others. But I will try." And she does, tilting her head slightly and expanding her influence throughout the spacious room. The Unicorn mirrors her posture and its horn begins to emit a faint golden glow. After a few moments, the thick carpet is replaced by lush green grass, the shelves and walls disappear, and the ceiling gives way to a wide blue sky. Iridescent clouds of butterflies drift across the grass and the sky, resting on the flowers and dancing through the air. Almost immediately, they begin to settle on Johnny and adorn the Unicorn like garlands.

"Whoa," breathes Johnny, stunned by the transformation. Zagreus is immediately, mercifully forgotten as the room shifts before his eyes and interior becomes blessed (if illusory) exterior, and daylight surrounds him. He breaks into a rare, happy grin. "Holy shit."

"That was AMAZING!" declares Nova, who immediately starts scurrying around in the grass. "It's all so real! TARDIS, you're... you're badass!"

Johnny is happy to let Nova be effusive on his behalf. He raises his arms slowly and watches the butterflies land on him.

At Johnny's and Nova's reaction, the TARDIS' smile grows wider and she feels herself relax as well. Being able to show him the healthy, peaceful butterfly room, the way it's supposed to be, is perhaps just as much a comfort to her as it is to him. It would be even better if he could come inside and experience the real thing, giving her the opportunity to sense his joy in return, but this does a lot to alleviate the shame and sorrow she felt earlier.

The Unicorn follows Nova's example and takes a few strides through the grass, both the butterflies in its mane and the ones on the flowers gently swaying with its movement without being disturbed. It lowers its head and noses after the rabbit, releasing an amused snort. "Thank you," it replies. "I am the best ship in the universe, Beloved always says."

The TARDIS, now crowned by a large morpho butterfly herself, holds out a hand to Johnny and offers, "Come along." They can wander over to the porch swing and sit for as long as he likes. Since she's controlling the entire scenery, the butterflies perched on him won't flee if he moves.

Johnny feels startled, shy, at the offer of a hand, but he takes it a moment later and allows himself to be led. Nova scampers alongside the Unicorn ahead of them.

He watches the multi-colored creatures flutter around him, alighting on his arms and fingers, periodically moving on only to be replaced by others. He keeps his thoughts light, trying not to imagine this as inside - part of an transcendent structural interior he can't begin to comprehend. Sunlight and abundant life keep it from feeling too much like the Navidson house, but he doubts his capacity to maintain that line of thought if he comes into contact with the TARDIS again in the real world.

He wants to say something. He wants to appear grateful and unafraid. "This is incredible," he says quietly, after a moment of consideration. "I wish I could... understand. Or appreciate it better."

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Far Side of the Aurora Borealis

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cw post traumatic stress disorder???

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