Sweeter than the First Time [Open to All]

[applesaucemod]

Hello, dreamers of Manhattan. The Rift knows that things have been kind of rough, lately. The last dream didn't go as well as it had hoped. Consider this an apology of sorts, and a hearkening back to the good times you've shared.

It's a grand old (and potentially familiar) cabin house that the dreamers will find themselves wandering. The furniture is plentiful and comfortable, the floors are strewn with cushions and blankets, and there are cheerful fires burning in the grates. It seems a little odd that the house still manages to be on the chilly side despite looking so warm, yet it is.

Oh, well. You'll just have to find another dreamer or two and spoon up and fall asleep like little baby cats get cozy. It shouldn't be difficult; most of the dreamers (excepting those with strong telepathic defenses or deeply ingrained cuddle-averse personalities) will find themselves feeling friendlier than usual, along with an almost overwhelming desire to snuggle up to someone. How convenient that the house seems designed for that very purpose!

And if some of the cushions are Hello Kitty themed, well, that's just coincidence.


[OOC: Standard dream party rules apply. Characters will be affected by the dream-whammy to whatever degree makes the most sense for them, and will remember or forget the events of the dream at the player's discretion. Backtag into infinity.]

Comments

[powerdealer]

Seth nods, and flips through them. It's good though, practicing his power. Who knows, at some point it might be very useful. Like sending secret messages without appearing to, if he can manage to make them appear with writing. Or a call for help if he's in trouble.

"Or you could make one of those little flip-book comics," he suggests, flipping rapidly through the blank pages.

[peacefulexplorer]

"I feel like that might require more precision than I actually have so far." He makes a halfhearted attempt to generate some post-its with writing on them but comes up with another blank stack in his own palm, which he pockets with a disappointed grunt. "I'll make it a milestone. Maybe start my own flipbook business. There's probably a lucrative market for this sort of thing, right?"

[powerdealer]

"Think you may be overestimating the monetary value of your power. And I should know, I used to attach monetary value to powers for a living," he answers, pulls off a post-it from the stack, and sticks it on Daniel's shoulder. Would be funnier if he could write something on it, but Daniel hasn't materialised any writing utensils yet.

[peacefulexplorer]

"And here I thought that'd be easy money." Though as soon as he says it he quickly tries to steer his mind away from the subject. He still hasn't worked out what to do about a more permanent living space or even a job, and for two very high priorities it's embarrassing how lost he feels in scoping those out. But it's such a bizarre shift, going from saving the world twice a week to something so much more mundane. He has no idea what it is linguist-archaeologist-intergalactic-explorers who are pretty much honorary members of the USAF are meant to do with themselves without a literal galaxy to save.

Maybe he should take up bookkeeping.

Not to be deterred, Daniel peels a post-it off his own stack and presses it firmly on Seth's forehead, utterly deadpan. "Watch it. I've got a seemingly infinite supply of these things and I'm not afraid to use 'em."

[powerdealer]

Seth smiles, eyes crossing a little as he tries to look up at the post-it on his forehead. Then he sighs defeatedly.

"I didn't want it to come to this, but I can't back down now," he says, peeling off another and sticking it onto Daniel's glasses. But if Daniel tries to return the favour again, he won't find Seth as solid and tangible as he usually is.

[peacefulexplorer]

He pulls off the offending object and tries to stick it back but his arm passes straight through the other man without resistance. Disgruntled, Daniel leans back and folds his arms.

"Well that's just not fair." He almost makes a joke about Seth always resorting to that little party trick before quickly recognizing that the last time it happened hadn't exactly been a shared experience. Whoops.

"I take it you're, you know. Still...?" He simply trails off meaningfully with a vague gesture at his arm.

[powerdealer]

It's always a pretty strange experience to see someone pass right through you, but it's kind of worth it for Daniel's expression and "winning" the post-it contest. He grins cheerfully and peels the post-it off his own forehead.

His cheer doesn't last quite that long though. "Oh. Yeah," he answers, glancing down, then looking cautiously up at Daniel again. He's not entirely sure how Daniel feels about that. Pity, presumably, but...

[peacefulexplorer]

For a minute Daniel's fingers drum incomprehensibly over his own crossed arms as he tries to communicate some meaning he hasn't yet delineated to himself. In the end he doesn't settle for eye contact at all. There's such a turbid slew of emotional associations there for both of them, and sorting through all of it is still something of a work in progress. Daniel's still conflicted over how he feels about being the one Seth apparently decided to entrust with this information over Gabriel, not to mention the idea that Daniel is now more or less keeping secrets from the archangel without honestly meaning to and despite not truly knowing him all that well.

"Is there," he begins, then stops, frustrated. Then again, "do you know where you're going with that?" Awkwardly phrased, even more awkwardly said aloud with Daniel's arms crossed and his shoulders creeping a little higher in his private, muddled indecision and a small, ridiculous aversion to meeting Seth's eyes for fear of what kind of judgment or disapproval he might unintentionally communicate.

[powerdealer]

Seth lowers his eyes again, fiddling with the stack of post-its. At least he has something to occupy his hands with? Because this is not a terribly comfortable conversation, even if it's probably one that they should have. After helping him through it, Daniel deserves to ask questions.

The question is valid even if it's a bit oddly put. "Not really," he answers after a moment. Not beyond just continuing as he has, taking precautions and coping and managing it. Which he realises is not ideal, but he still has problems seeing the permanence of his situation. He has trouble really envisioning a future, and so it doesn't seem like that much of a big deal.

[peacefulexplorer]

They're being so deliberately vague about all of it, tiptoeing around the subject like it might bite. Daniel takes a breath.

"Have you considered, you know," but he can't bring himself to bring the sentence to its completion for a minute, "stopping?"

Of course he has, he definitely has, that's not something one doesn't consider under those circumstances, so Daniel plows on hastily, "I just mean, well. You're not defenseless, not anymore. Maybe you don't, you know, necessarily need to hang on to...that."

[powerdealer]

Seth takes a moment to answer, chewing it over. Well, yes, of course he has. And he's not sure he can even create a proper argument for why he shouldn't, beyond that he doesn't want to. He's not defenseless, and he also knows that they aren't actively looking for him, presumably because they know he's not defenseless. But the idea of not having any powers of his own... He doesn't like being dependent on someone.

"I know, but..." he trails off, and reaches up to rub at his arm. He doesn't know how to answer without just saying he's scared. And if he were 100% honest, he'd probably have to admit that he wouldn't like to live without the occasional escape from reality being high grants. But he likes to pretend that's not true.

He shakes his head a little. "It's not like I didn't have friends the first time. Didn't do me much good."

[peacefulexplorer]

"Yeah, but." Daniel's head goes to one side meaningfully, eyebrows climbing. "You got a literal archangel in your corner, plus a guy who gives a whole new meaning to the phrase 'bringing down the house' and an archaeologist who apparently has profound difficulties with shuffling off the mortal coil."

He tries for another smile, fleeting and small but hopefully encouraging. "You know we'd watch your six, right?"

[powerdealer]

Seth returns the smile, though it's equally fleeting and small, if not more so. He wants to comment on how archaeologist isn't really the most impressive word Daniel could've chosen to describe himself, but he's not really feeling the playful banter right now.

"I know..." he answers, sinking a little in his seat, his shoulders hunching. "I just... I don't want that to be the only thing standing between me and..."

He lets the sentence end there, as they both know what he means. Daniel's already seen what kind of hopelessness the thought of imprisonment fills Seth with, and what lengths he'd go to to avoid it. He knows he's not being entirely rational about this, but he has good reasons for it.

[peacefulexplorer]

Yes, well, and that's the core of it, isn't it? Seth doesn't want to be helpless, he doesn't want to be dependent on others, even if that means becoming dependent on substance rather than the company he keeps.

"I know," Daniel echoes quietly, eyes dropping again. He's seen the interior of Seth's mind and the ripples of his remembered trauma, the hollow kind of despair of being kept in walls dull and gray for months on end. "And that'll never happen. You wouldn't let it, and neither would we."

Fierce reassurances can only take one so far in hypothetical circumstance. Daniel's tone softens as he goes on, "It just - this doesn't have to be your life. You can't spend it existing in a constant state of fear that they'll find you again. That's just not tenable and, and what's more is - it won't happen."

[powerdealer]

Seth remains quiet in the face of Daniel's reassurances. He knows he can't really argue against it. But that doesn't change the way he feels. It doesn't make it all that easier. Tenable or not, it's difficult for him to envision anything different. That all his decisions won't be informed by the possibility. That it won't stop him from becoming complacent, or content, or optimistic. It might be part of the reason he can't bring himself to do anything about his feelings for Daniel. He shoulders draw up further as he chews on his lip.

"D'you know, uh," he starts, staring at the floor. "Just last week, the amount of time I've been free finally surpassed the time I spent working for the rebels..." He's counting his voluntary involvement in that as well, but that's how long they benefitted from his power. He doubts they've forgotten about him in that time.

"It just... It hasn't even been half a year since I got out." Which may seem like a long time, but he feels like he's spent a lot of it just becoming functional. Which, really, he still isn't reliably. He doesn't feel ready to give up his crutch. People spend that much time getting over a singular traumatic event. He needs to get over several months worth of traumatic events and conditioning.

[peacefulexplorer]

Worked for is a very specific form of phrase that in Daniel's mind really only applies to the time before Seth was held against his will. It's said without enthusiasm or pride or relief or anything, just empty words and a meaningless date.

"But it's been longer since you have," Daniel reminds him. "Most people wouldn't even have the strength to put themselves back together after going through that, but you did." It's the praise that people who have been damaged seldom recognize, but that doesn't mean Daniel won't still point it out, as long and as often as he needs to for Seth to start believing it. "Do you understand how brave that is?"

[powerdealer]

Seth shakes his head a little. Whether it's him disgreeing or just answering is up for interpretation. He doesn't feel particularly brave, and he doesn't feel particularly put-together. He might take some pride in managing to have gotten one over them, or rather having gotten out from under them, but brave? He's not sure about that.

He realises suddenly he's been slowly ripping apart a post-it note, and stills his hands. The desire for physical contact is slowly becoming overwhelming. He knows it's because of the dream, but the conversation isn't exactly helping. They're still sitting shoulder-to-shoulder but somehow that's not really enough.

"Maybe," he answers finally, though it's in response to an earlier question, so he clarifies. "Maybe I'll find some other way to deal with it. Just... not yet, okay?"

He's just gone through about half a withdrawal, he has no desire to go through a full one anytime soon. And not without first making assurances and backup plans. And, well. He'd have to tell Gabriel. It's that or lie to say he's given his powers away, because if Gabe's gonna help protect him, he surely needs to know about Seth being defenseless. And he doesn't want to lie to Gabriel any more than he has, and it would just bring up a load of questions about why.

[peacefulexplorer]

The post-it note Seth's been steadily shredding gets a brief look but Daniel says nothing. Maybe is hardly a set-in-stone guarantee, but it's also still rather soon since Seth's withdrawal scare. Putting some distance between himself and that unpleasant affair might be the first step to accepting that he doesn't need to be dependent.

"Not hopeless," he says with another, slightly more successful smile that he hopes comes off as supportive. "It might not feel like you're brave to have gone through what you did but that's the truth of it." He lays his hand on Seth's shoulder in a motion that can't seem to decide if it wants to be comforting or a display of manly camaraderie, so it simply rests there in confused indecision for a minute. "And I'll keep saying it until you to believe it."

[powerdealer]

When Daniel puts his hand on Seth's shoulder, he releases a breath he didn't realise he'd been holding, and he relaxes fractionally. He gives Daniel a brief but grateful smile. "Thanks," he answers. After a moment he adds, "for, for everything."

He's pretty sure Daniel has a higher opinion of Seth than he actually deserves, but he appreciaties the support nonetheless. The unwavering support and comfort. Especially lately.

[peacefulexplorer]

The smile resolves into something a little more complete and he gives Seth's shoulder a little squeeze before relaxing back into the armchair, their moment of conversational intensity having elapsed. This dream is pleasant and inviting, and Daniel intends to enjoy it with Seth for as long as it lasts.